Thursday, September 13, 2007

*Hurt and Unbalance*

On Tues, 11 Sept 07. Something happened at Phyllis, my student's house. In the beginning of the lesson, everything was alright till her sister came home. Her younger sister who was in the living room kept disturbing and beating the younger brother who is only a toddler. As she wanted to protect her little brother, she carried him into her room. Eventually, her little sister who is now in nursery followed into the room too. She came in and took Phyllis's thing and ran out. Phyllis got fed up and ran out and snatched her stuff back. Well, this wasn't the first time I had seen it. She ran to the kitchen, beat her sister and snatched back her thing. Their dad saw what had happened and told Phyllis not to beat her sister. Phyllis then got even more pissed off and walked back into her room, slammed the door and locked it. She then sat down beside me, took a flower vase on her desk and threw it against the door. I was damn shocked and shouted at her, "do you know that it's GLASS?" "SO WHAT ALSO NOT MY MONEY BUY ONE!" she shouted. Her dad overheard our conversation and knocked on the door. "WHAT DID SHE THROW?? OPEN THE DOOR!" I then opened the door. "Your precious daughter throws flower vase!" Philip, her dad got angry, scolded and beat her twice on her upper back. She cried and stared at her dad with her eyes wide opened. "Do you know that your brother is here?" "If those splinters injure your brother how?" he shouted again. I just stood and looked at her. Her dad even asked me to have a good look with my own eyes. Look at how rebellious was she. I kept quiet and shook my head as I got no comment about it. In my mind, I knew that she was out of control. Thus, in order to vent out her anger, she got to throw something which she disliked. After her father had finished sweeping those bits and pieces of splinters on the floor, he asked her daughter to go and think about it by herself on what had she done. He even asked her to ask me whether had she done the right thing. I then sat down and talked to her while she was crying. She said I'm exactly the same as her parents. What man? If I don't bother about her, I won't be talking to her, buying things for her and bringing her out. Well, about bringing her out, I regretted in my whole life. Why do I bring her out in the first place. The reason was that she's lonely and bored and moreover her parents got no time to bring her out. I took pity on her so, I brought her out. In turn, what do I get in return? She called me AUNTIE. At times, she's damn rude. She even threw temper on me and shouted at me. Okay, back to Tuesday situation. I told her she can vent her anger out by throwing anything but not glass as it's dangerous. Eventually, I can undestand that at times, children need to do something to vent out their anger in them. So do I. "I got cut by splinters better still then I can bleed to death and all of you will be happier what!" Well, I understand why she felt this way. One word, "JEALOUSY". She's jealous of her siblings. "I fail, fail la, why you bother so much, anyway you are here to take money ma!" she added. WHAT THE F****! After hearing all these, I'm damn pissed off and hurt. What kind of student I have? I've been teaching her since Primary 2 till now. Right now, she's in Primary 5. This evening, supposed to have the lst lesson of this month with her as the previous lesson was the 8th lesson. Unfortunately, I was being fired by HER and not HER PARENTS. When I arrived at her house, she looked at me and shouted, " I DON'T WANT TUITION!" Her dad then told her not to be rude. She went into the room and vent her anger out. I asked her dad, "what happen again?" "Nothing happen, I didn't do anything!" he replied. "Aiya, now she's not happy with you la cause that day you scolded her ma." "Ya I did. cause that day she scolded her mum, "YOU GO TO HELL." I replied.

Her dad just simply shook his head and lighted up his cigarette and took a puff.

"Erin, you see la, how, I also dont know what to do with her!" he exclaimed. "She's really giving me a big headache!" he added. Well, I myself also don't know how to help. And there's nothing much I can do now.

Due to this she hated me. She even asked her dad to pay me and asked me not to come anymore. LOOK AT HER WITH THIS KIND OF ATTITUDE!!! Ha...I couldn't imagine that I'm being treated like this by a 11 yrs old girl. The dad said, " what to do, she's very stubborn!" Yes she is and you better bring her for counselling before its too late. Once she goes to Secondary level, its even tougher for you to control. And by the time, it will totally be out of your hand. Eventually, her dad agreed with what I'm thinking. "She hated everyone in the family and she doesn't like to live in this house." "What she likes is to be in a rich family and get whatever she wants in order to make herself happy." She's really out of my hand and I can't handle anymore. I'm tired of all these. I'm nice to her and in turn I get all these shit. Well, who ask myself to be nosy. In the end, her dad paid me and I went home. He said that he'll see how and will contact me after that. In my heart, I told myself, forget it. I've been with her for 3 yrs and its enough. At first, I was damn pissed off and worried about my income. I've lost $160 just like that and moreover, I've just rejected an assignment nearby few days ago due to my tight schedule. Reached home, told baby what had happened. There after, followed by a phone call from my brother. I'm pretty contented cause whenever I've problem, I'll receive a phone call from him. As if he can sensed that something had happened to me. Haha.. Did he have a sensor? He told me, next time round, just teach and don't bother about all these as they are not my kids. As long as I'm being paid, it's okay. But I told him I can't. He said I got to. "Look at now, you bothered and cared so much for her, what did you get?" he asked WOW, this question really woke me up. Just do your job as a tutor within your capability and get your money and everything will be fine. This is the way to survive, even in office. Act as dummy as you can and just do whatever you are told to do. It's like a game in part of your life. Learn how to protect and defend for yourself. You're just a tutor not their mummies. For some people, their character can change whereas some can't. And some take years. So, just let it be and it's not within your control. Let the parents worried about it and not you. Get it?? Do you understand what am I trying to say to you my sister?? "Yeah!!! I do.". Well, I'm feeling more balanced right now.

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